Thursday, July 8, 2010
I have to say that it is easy to disagree with people I don't know or care deeply about. So after working up the courage to disagree with a friend or family member and being accused of judging, I'm more hesitant to care for people I care about.
If you find your self using this phrase, please stop and think about if you really believe that I'm JUDGING you, or just disagreeing. There is a big difference.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella"
Daddy loves you so very much my little, beautiful Cinderellas.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Now when I say I want to be a man, I mean I want to follow God's examples to be the head of my household as a husband, father, and spiritual leader. Yeah, not so easy. The godly man mentors in my life have been shining beacons in these times of the world's ever blurred man roles. Inadequacies in this area can only be blamed on my own heart. All of my friends and I, being married for only a few years and very new to daddyville, wrestle with one thing or another when it comes to being a man. These struggles we men wrestle with every day, are battles with in us that we most likely don't ever mention. Whether is a lack of knowledge, lack of direction, lack of desire, lack of ambition, or whatever the reason, men, we need to step up to the plate.
The act of stepping up is most certainly easier said than done. So many questions as to how and when, flood into my head about these God given tasks that are often daunting and usually way over due. I daydream about a "Man Camp" sort of thing. One or two weeks of men delving into their bible, listening to some sound doctrine, and discussing how to be the spiritual leader and head of the household. I remember going to a two day Promise Keepers conference with my dad when I was in my teens and I think it was similar to what I'd like, just less personal and less extensive.
My head silently keeps track of the intentions that have gone undone, the forgotten responsibilities, and the damage to my family that these failures have caused. The two areas I need to work on most, with out question, are nurturing a relationship with God and how that relationship affects my ability to be a spiritual leader. Because of my continued neglect to God, I lack clarity on how best to serve Him with the spiritual leadership of my wife and children. Saying prayers before meals and helping get the family up and out the door for church once a week is just scratching the surface.
My lack of clarity and therefor lack of direction no doubtingly adds to my procrastination. Thank you Naomi for not picking up where I've left off. Being that I promised to take on that role and at no point have I forgotten, my wife taking on that role would in effect, take my legs out from under me. Maybe I shouldn't speak for my man friends, but I'm going to. I believe our wives taking on the roles God gave us to tackle would have the the same affect on any of us guys. Never have I thought about this from the perspective of my wife. I'm sure Naomi wants to take over my husbandly roles as much as I want to take on her wifely roles. So, I don't want Naomi taking over my role in our family but in no way do i think she should be content with how things are. It's not ever easy hearing concern for an unfulfilled responsibility that you have meant to take care of. It's even more of a blow when you think everything is fine and you've taken care of everything. Either way, something needs to be said, action needs to be taken.
So men, lets take action before our wives express concern, while our children are young, and before our marriages are in shambles. I challenge us to do what it takes to glorify God as men, husbands, fathers, and buds.
I am Very much looking forward to the marriage retreat that's right around the corner. It is my prayer that at this retreat, we will look to God to empower us guys to step up to the plate, and become men.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
This one is long winded (sorry). There was more before I sized it down. Please bare with me.
My family and some of my friends know that I can be very forward and blunt when I feel like it (and sometimes when I don't mean to be). Confrontation is not something I'm usually fishing for but it's definitely not something that I shy from. I think it's fun sharing my beliefs with people and discussing opposite views. Being the middle child and the one who pushed the limits of most authoritative figures in my life, I've been this way for awhile. So it's easy for me to stand up to others on what I have come to believe is right and good according to God's Word. What is NOT easy for me, is when friends or family that I believe have the same belief's, are hesitant if not totally reluctant to share them with others. This is something that totally and absolutely eludes my logic. What ever reason they have for their silence, I've found myself urging them to speak up. With an absolute disregard for tact and the feelings of those I pushed, I'm sorry I came off so very wrong. I'm not sorry that I did push, just very much how I went about it.I have a facebook page. Mainly to load pictures of my family for others to see. I also think its fun to look at the pictures my family and friends have uploaded. There are many things about facebook I really don't like and have several times come close to deleting my account.
The reason I started this blog is...
A while back it was presidential election season. With the election day looming just around the corner, more and more dirt was being flung in both directions. With my rather conservative views, the extreme left wing ideas this new democrat president elect held, are a bit unnerving . Already stunned by his overwhelming "cool" factor, the "in" thing for young adults was to back this democrat elect regardless of his views.
When I logged on to facebook election day, so very many of my "friends" had dedicated their status to this soon-to-be president. Some of my friends whom I know lean to the left, didn't surprise me in the least who they were supporting. But when I found several church friends with the same status as my lefty friends, I just about fell out of my chair. With what seemed like a total disregard for everything we were taught in church, by the same pastor, using the same bible. What a slap in the face to our pastors! My heart started to race as my mind spun. What a slap in the face to GOD!!! What was I missing? I just don't understand. My adrenalin pumping at this point while pondering what I was going to do or say, or if I'd do anything at all. I think I'm going fishing..... My lure, changing my facebook status to :"How can someone who calls them self a christian, vote for (said liberal extremest)"? Ok, ok, I can hear you thinking, "who do you think you are?!?". Let me lay out what I did not say... You can't be a christian and vote for Lefty. Or... Only sinners vote for Lefty. It was a question, and I was digging hard to find some answers. Well, to no avail, not one response from someone voting for Lefty. I think I did get one response from someone who was disgusted by Lefty's abortion ideals. Did my friends not see my status? Didn't care enough to respond? Avoiding confrontation? Too ashamed to debate the issue? I don't know. Reasoning in my head, someone who is so proud of Lefty and willing to publicly promote him, must have some valid reasons. I want to know what they are. So instead of waiting for them to come to me, I went to them. I went to their facebook page and asked them, As a christian, how can you support Lefty when he openly believes certain sinful acts are ok? I, in asking them this question, unleashed a wrath upon myself I did not see coming. With out any explanation to my original question, people I had not even written to, started questioning my faith as a christian and defending the people I had questioned. So I guess questioning a fellow christian, to fill me in on the reasoning they have for supporting and backing someone who teaches ideas obviously opposite of God's teachings, makes me the righteous hypocrite, king of the zealots. After being bombarded, I tried to reword the question, adding my reasoning for even bringing this to any ones attention. Which only made things worse, because responding to their responses, I was picking on them even more.
After it had been established that I was a crazy christian that was trying to push others away from "their" faith, the closest answers to my original question are as follows. "Because I'm concerned with the economy." "I've had enough of republicans like Bush." "Because if I voted for McCain Id be voting for the war. Stopping the war is more important then stopping abortion."
With this totally backfiring in my face, my position has not changed in the matter, but I learned that I needed to work on the angle of approach. Maybe after several foiled attempts to communicate concern will help me gain my barrings.
For those of my readers who are upset with my thinking and actions, I will close with this picture.
Bob is walking down the street one night when he is approached by a man. "Hello sir, my name is Hussein and I need your help." "What can I do for you?" Replies Bob. Hussein describes to Bob that he has been trying to get a job to support his family and he has an interview the next day. Bob is a good man and would like to help Hussein but is not sure how. Hussein continues "I am going to break into that store over there and steal a suit for my interview. I need you to hold the door open while I carry out the clothing." Bob reasons out loud "All Ill be doing is holding the door, not stealing anything. Ok, I'll do it."
Please be patient. Getting all of my incomplete thoughts down in words has always been a challenge for me. A.D.D. and maybe a slight amount of dyslexia, mixed with a poor spelling ability and horrific grammar equals "Me fail English, that's unpossable!".
So what's with the title? Well, it took me a week to find the right three words and get them in that order. Which I believe, by their definition, fit very well. But why those words? They were not in my very limited vocabulary but thanks to the Internet, wa la! Fancy title with specific meaning and irony in its complexity.
When you read these future posts please know that I am no scholar. I'm not a pastor. My knowledge of the bible is (sadly) limited. I'm 30 and I'm learning as days go by. My faith has been life long but is growing. My fatherhood is less than 2 years old and as of yesterday, my marriage is 5 years young. My thoughts are not meant to offend, degrade, belittle, stifle, or anger. Though, I know they will. I believe my thoughts flow from a sum of my experiences and the conclusions I have drawn from them. These thoughts may be very one sided. Unless of course i have experienced both sides already. I believe I can love the sinner hate the sin. Yes, easier said than done, but that's my goal. I hope others can work that on me as well.
I look forward to hearing from everyone. Whether you agree or disagree please tell me why. I want to learn and see things from every angle. Even if I disagree with what I'm learning.
Before I get into what it is about my wife that I believe has helped us get to our 5 year mark, thanks are in order.
I have been blessed. Thank you Jesus for seeing fit to bless me with Naomi. Thank You for guiding us through our 5+ years together. Thank You for the gift of children 2 1/9 times. All the glory for these earthly treasures, is truly Yours.
There are many things about "me" that may be hard to live with. I am not an ideal husband and I am far from being who I aspire to be. Realizing only a few of my faults, there are many that I'm sure actually exist, I require patience. Naomi, thank you for seeing past my inadequacies; for being so patient with me; for encouraging, reassuring, calming, and standing by me. Thank you for loving me so selflessly.
Thank you for turning to God to help you be my wife.
Naomi, I love you my dear wife.
Today Naomi and I were thinking of Abby, Ben, and Elijah James Chapeau. Though we never met you Elijah, joy enters our hearts knowing that God has always known you.